When people sit in a circle, they can see what used to be hidden.
On the last Full Moon, I did it again.
I know I shouldn’t have. The current limits on social gatherings are still quite strict. Yet, the promise of what we would create together was much greater than the perceived risk.
(Note: Although the gathering was bigger than allowed, we did follow social distancing rules and met outdoors.)
Under the cover of the night but with the guidance of the Moon, ten women went into the forest to sit around the fire. Each made her way through the darkness and to the sacred space. There, we knew we could feel safe. …
The workplace is where growth happens — and your feelings are a big part of it.
Dear Big Selfer,
In our culture, we’re used to making the distinction between professional and personal life. We take it for granted. But if you give it some thought, does it make sense to draw such a clear line between the two?
More and more people want to look at work as something more than just a means of putting food on the table. Sure, we all need to make a living first. But if you’re here, reading something called “The Big Self Letter,” I’m guessing you also want your work to enrich you in some way.
Maybe it’s about learning practical skills. Maybe it’s about overcoming your fears, or finding out how to work with a team. Whatever you’re hoping your work to teach you, one thing is…
A guide for those who dread the job they once used to dream of
How did you end up here — feeling miserable, bored, or simply lukewarm about your work?
A few years ago, having the job you have right now was the dream. But these days, when the alarm goes off and you need to get out of bed, the prospect of going to work feels… not too bad, at best.
Your job felt way more exciting when you were just starting. Everything seemed like a fun challenge and you were proud of yourself. But those days are long gone, and you’re left wondering:
How to reignite that sense of happiness you used to feel at work? …
And it’s better this way
Dear Big Selfer,
The self-improvement industry, with all its possibilities, has one big problem: It often suggests that we’re inadequate the way we are.
Self-help marketing plays on our desire to be perfect in order to feel worthy. Of course, the definition of ‘perfect’ is slightly different for everyone. But what most of us share is the idea that we need to arrive at a certain point of our “journey” to deserve good things.
In other words, we believe we need to do something specific to deserve love, a satisfying job, a sense of fulfillment, a nurturing relationship. …
The writers on whose shoulders Big Self stands
As Big Self grows into a thriving publication on self-discovery, there are a few writers who lift it off the ground. They connect the intangible ideas back to the Earth. They stand firmly in their truth long enough to give Big Self shape and substance.
I think of them as the columns of the Big Self. On the one hand, they are standalone creators expressing their original ideas. On the other, they make up a team that advocates for the Big Self vision with their unique voices.
Below, you’ll find a directory of the Big Self columns. This will make it easier to navigate the publication and find exactly the kind of reading you’re looking for. …
What our collective mind looks like at the dawn of 2021
Dear Big Selfer,
Welcome back after the holidays! First, I want to wish you a happy New Year. May 2021 bring you closer to your dreams, goals, full potential — or whatever it is you’re currently chasing.
Second, I wonder about your reflections on 2020 (post them in the comments if you like!). The time around the New Year is usually a chance to gain some perspective about what happened in the past 12 months. And last year, certainly a lot has happened.
Even though we tend to think about it as “the tough year” or “the unprecedented time” — which it certainly was! — 2020 also brought a positive shift in our collective consciousness. For many, it was a wake-up call. Sure, not exactly a gentle, “time-to-get-out-of-bed-darling” kind of a wake-up. …
In 2021, change your approach to self-improvement.
Welcome to 2021! How do you feel?
The beginning of January is such an emotionally-loaded time. On the one hand, it brings a lot of hope. Especially after 2020, we all crave a clean slate, a chance to start anew and make this year better than the last one.
On the other hand, a new beginning often comes with an enormous amount of stress. Yet again, you feel pressured to improve yourself. “From now on, things will be different,” you promise yourself in your mind. But deep down, you’re anxious about how hard it might be to make that difference.
Especially if you came up with New Year’s resolutions — again. …
Then, let’s have some silence.
Dear Big Selfer,
many of us have been waiting for this: the end of 2020. The year when more people than ever feel like they’ve hit rock bottom. The year after which — we imagine — things can only get better.
I also hope 2021 to be gentler for all of us. However, we can’t know this for sure. Rather than making it sound like a threat or warning, I invite you to see something else in this statement.
I invite you to appreciate the infinite potential of not knowing.
When we accept uncertainty as part of life, we can relax a bit more. We may find solace in the realization that we can’t control everything. Of course, we can still play our part in making 2021 a better year. …
How mindfulness helps with the biggest challenges of leadership
In your life, you’ve probably met both mindful and mindless leaders.
Give yourself 30 seconds before reading further and remember:
- A leader in your life — a teacher, supervisor, boss, community organizer — in whose presence you felt safe and empowered. You felt like they had things under control. They were like a solid rock you could lean on.
And then, remember:
- A leader whom you obeyed out of necessity, but whose leadership felt like a burden more than support. Take a moment to remember what it felt like to be around them, talk to them, answer their questions.
The difference between a mindful and mindless leader may be hard to name — but you feel it. …
This week on Big Self menu: buzzer management, mindfulness, and avoiding burnout.
Dear Big Selfer,
Last weekend, I realized how often I pass on life’s opportunities just because they feel “too hard.”
My friends were staying over and I had many ideas for what I wanted to do together. A cacao ritual around the fire. Interviewing them for my next book. Playing a complex boardgame that I hadn’t tried before.
Unfortunately, none of that happened. All of those ideas were great opportunities but they demanded some organizing and planning. And in the past few days, organizing and planning somehow felt beyond me.
You can say there’s nothing wrong with that — and I would agree. Sometimes, we just don’t feel at our best. We’re tired. All we want to do is stay in our protective shell and entertain the thought that something’s too difficult for us. …
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