There is a much richer experience available to you than just building yet another productivity habit
When you feel angry for seemingly no reason, it’s not because you’re a bad person. More likely, it’s a reflection of your past experience. The same goes for jealousy, laziness, sluggishness, and all the other feelings that stop you from loving yourself.
To really see this for yourself requires a high level of self-awareness — or, a conscious relationship with yourself. That’s what self-awareness is, in a nutshell: an ongoing awareness of the self and of how you behave towards it.
I’ve recently become a bit bitter about self-improvement. Or at least, about that part of it that positions “positive…
Building self-awareness resembles building a house. Here’s how to find the bricks, cement, tools, and architectural design to construct one that’s uniquely yours
Self-awareness is such a complex idea. We all want to improve it, but many find it hard to unpack the concept. What does it mean to be self-aware?
Over the past few years, I’ve explored this question from many angles. At first, self-awareness seemed to be a primarily spiritual endeavor. I discovered that all my experiences, at any given moment, can be used as raw material for discovering my essence, i.e., that part of my consciousness that remains unchanging.
Even now when I write these words, I feel chills of excitement.
As I kept meditating and exploring other self-awareness techniques…
When people sit in a circle, they can see what used to be hidden.
On the last Full Moon, I did it again.
I know I shouldn’t have. The current limits on social gatherings are still quite strict. Yet, the promise of what we would create together was much greater than the perceived risk.
(Note: Although the gathering was bigger than allowed, we did follow social distancing rules and met outdoors.)
Under the cover of the night but with the guidance of the Moon, ten women went into the forest to sit around the fire. Each made her way through the darkness and to the sacred space. There, we knew we could feel safe…
You can shape the incentives of writers you love by choosing what you click
Dear reader — I’ve heard you complain many times. Your voice is getting louder and louder. Not just on this platform — but all over the online self-improvement space.
I get it. You don’t want to read meaningless self-help advice anymore. To be honest, neither do I. We’re all sick of it.
How many times can one hear about “five habits of successful people” or “10x-ing your income in 6 months”? 90% of those articles don’t have merit to justify the headlines. Yet, you keep clicking on them. …
When you’re responsible for your feelings, you show up in a new way
Being emotionally mature means you don’t need to run to others to handle your difficult feelings.
This isn’t to say that you should never fall back on your friends’ support. But, being able to manage your emotions on your own can be a gamechanger. It means that:
- You don’t have to rely on other people to “make you feel better”
- You become more resilient to adversity
- You can use your emotional content as raw material to get to know yourself
- You can become less of an energy-taker and more of a giver.
As someone who’s been extremely needy for much…
We see future goals as indicators of meaning. But what if the purpose of life is something else?
When you’re a kid, all you ever do is play. Your life is devoted to it. You learn and bond with peers through play — heck, you even play while you eat and bathe!
Then, as you start growing up, you’re expected to shift your focus. Play is no longer a valid way to spend your days. To become a responsible adult, most of us embrace this (often unspoken) axiom:
To do something just for the sake of it isn’t always a good enough reason. So the main driving force behind your actions becomes the future gains they bring.
From…
The self-help marketing is eating away at our sanity.
We’re entering a new era of personal growth.
After a good few years of the super-human hype, quoting Gary Vee and Tim Ferriss all over the place, and utter lack of criticism, the self-improvement narrative is finally being evaluated. Most of all, people are getting real about one thing:
Self-improvement isn’t just a system of hacks to upgrade your life. It’s also a massive profit-oriented industry.
As any industry, it relies on a certain marketing narrative. When this narrative gets into your head, it can damage your mental health. The gurus and coaches presumably use it as a motivation tool…
“Couples who run together, stay together” isn’t just a pretty slogan. It’s also backed by science.
When I met my boyfriend a little over a year ago, one of the first things we did was going for a run. Little did I know we’d end up living together a few months later.
Since the beginning, running has been our way of connecting with each other and tapping into childlike joy. Although we share many other interests, running is among our top ways of bonding, boosting our moods, and mutual affection.
Sure, we’ve also had tough runs. Like any couple, we don’t always vibe perfectly. For one thing, he’s much faster and fitter which means I often…
How to include others in your practice — even if they’re not as mindful as you
When most people hear about mindfulness, they picture a person sitting cross-legged on a meditation cushion. But solitary practice is just one step of this journey.
It’s fairly easy to be mindful alone. All you’re working with are your own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors. And while facing those can certainly be a challenge, that challenge is taken to the next level when you try to stay mindful while interacting with others.
At some point, you’ll want to use your mindfulness skills to better connect with people around you. This gets particularly tricky when they aren’t as mindful as you…
How self-improvement might be ruining your relationships
One of the most dangerous self-improvement tips I became obsessed with is this:
If you want to grow, you need to surround yourself with the “right” kind of people.
This is such a sneaky one. On the surface, this statement looks harmless. Of course you should surround yourself with people who support your growth. Why wouldn’t you? You deserve better than to hang out with those who drain your energy.
We all want to have inspiring, uplifting, and interesting friends and acquaintances. …
