When people sit in a circle, they can see what used to be hidden.
On the last Full Moon, I did it again.
I know I shouldn’t have. The current limits on social gatherings are still quite strict. Yet, the promise of what we would create together was much greater than the perceived risk.
(Note: Although the gathering was bigger than allowed, we did follow social distancing rules and met outdoors.)
Under the cover of the night but with the guidance of the Moon, ten women went into the forest to sit around the fire. Each made her way through the darkness and to the sacred space. There, we knew we could feel safe…
What kind of positivity should we pursue and in which situations — and at what point does it become forced, unnatural, or even toxic?
In our society, “being positive” is seen as a strength. We admire people who’re upbeat, energetic, proactive, and creative. We want to be more like them because we believe this would grant us a life of success and fulfillment.
A positive outlook on life is assumed to be the supreme virtue. But is it always?
I can’t tell you how many times when I expressed personal or professional frustrations, certain friends told me that it’s “all in my head.” With that, they implied that if I only tried to see things in a more positive light, everything would shift. …
Psychologist and co-founder of Big Self School, Dr. Shelley Prevost, shares her learnings from building an online business during a pandemic
As a freelance writer, I’ve been a part of more remote teams than in-person ones. Some of them were in the formal setting of a content agency or company I’d work for. Others were informal groups, with the main goal of online creators to support each other.
Whenever I’m a part of a remote team, it’s a peculiar experience. On the one hand, it seems like I just interact with a computer — type in messages, send emails, and get responses. All along, I’m alone in the room. It doesn’t feel like I’m interacting with another human.
But then it…
You know which one it is — but do you care as much as you could?
Dear Big Selfer,
Here’s an obvious truth of life that everyone needs to be reminded of sometimes:
The only person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with is you.
Even the most intimate partnership doesn’t come close to that. People in your life will come and go. Some of them will stay. But there’s just one person you take with you anywhere you go.
Even for that reason alone, it’s worth spending some time getting to know yourself. …
Plus, three proven exercises to put it back in its place
We all have two voices inside of us — the critical and the compassionate one. In what proportion you listen to each determines how you feel and what you think about yourself.
You can imagine those voices as two personas, constantly commenting on your experience. Meet your Inner Critic and Inner Nurturer. Both have important roles to play, although they’re dramatically different.
The inner critic tries to keep you safe and points out what could be improved in the future. When you’re in a group of people whose opinions you value, it’ll watch out for you not to say anything…
There is a much richer experience available to you than just building yet another productivity habit
When you feel angry for seemingly no reason, it’s not because you’re a bad person. More likely, it’s a reflection of your past experience. The same goes for jealousy, laziness, sluggishness, and all the other feelings that stop you from loving yourself.
To really see this for yourself requires a high level of self-awareness — or, a conscious relationship with yourself. That’s what self-awareness is, in a nutshell: an ongoing awareness of the self and of how you behave towards it.
I’ve recently become a bit bitter about self-improvement. Or at least, about that part of it that positions “positive…
Actionable advice on speaking and listening from Big Self writers
Dear Big Selfer,
A lot of advice around communication can be brought down to one word: timing.
Very often, smooth communication is simply about knowing when to talk and when to be silent. What to express out loud — and what to leave out of the conversation.
But how can you know when’s time for what?
Especially at work, this question can be quite tricky. For example, your boss may encourage you to express your opinions openly because that supposedly contributes to your company’s success. However, if you imagine being 100% honest about everything… You realize that’d be a disaster!
Communicating effectively and…
To make a difference, stop focusing on the numbers
If you have any kind of cause or try to help people online, it’s easy to fall for this thinking trap:
“I don't get enough views/followers/subscribers to make an impact. I need to grow my audience and broaden my reach. Get more eyeballs on my work! But how do I ever do that?”
Because of all the big fish you see in the ocean of online art and business, you fall for the “all or nothing” trap. You’re eiter huge or you don’t exist. I know this though pattern very well. What does my 6K followers on Medium mean? —…
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.” — D.H. Thoreau
As children and teenagers, many people get asked by the adults around them: Who do you want to be when you grow up?
Not many dare to answer like Gott — a character in one of my favorite Polish movies, 7 Emotions. When a teacher asks him in class, Who do you want to be when you grow up? — he simply says:
Myself. I want to be myself.
Being a movie character, Gott finds it easy to claim this. In real life, being true to yourself can be a tad more difficult than that. …
3 simple ideas to help you see fear as an ally, not enemy
This week, I’ve been focusing on embracing what we came to see as the “negative” side of our lives.
Treating mental health struggles as a sign of growth. Giving yourself the permission to feel — even or especially the difficult feelings.
Now, I want to talk specifics about arguably the most powerful human emotion.
Fear.
Why is it the most powerful? Because it’s connected to our physical survival. Without it, we would have been eaten by sabertooth tigers and never would have evolved to become humans.
Take a moment to let that sink in: Fear is the emotion to credit…
Marta Brzosko
What if you stopped treating your ego as the enemy and befriended it instead? To find out, read my new book, Ego-Friendly: https://gumroad.com/l/ego-friendly
