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Can You Empathize With The Aggressor?
This is how real healing occurs.
Most of us are used to empathize with victims.
It manifests when we watch a cat running towards a tree in panic, making it just before the dog catches it. For a moment, we let ourselves feel the relief — the kitty managed to rescue herself. An instant later, we go to chase the aggressive dog away:
“Leave her in peace, you stupid mutt! Poor kitty, there, there… It’s over now. You can come down, the dog is gone.”
We are mostly concerned with the cat because she is the victim. We instinctively want to take care of her because she just was under attack. And since the dog was rude enough to rage at her — let’s do everything we can to make him feel bad. Maybe even kick him goodbye before he goes!
This is, in essence, how we deal with aggressors in our society. If someone harms another, we send them to jail or condemn them to another type of punishment. Because it is the victim who deserves empathy. The attacker should be forced to feel bad and suffer because of what they’ve done.
Why would we concern ourselves with somebody who exhibited so much aggression or “bad will” in any other way than to condemn them?
