Growing up in a Catholic country like Poland can twist one’s perception of happiness. I mean, the religion I was taught as a child glorified suffering as a virtue. This, combined with Polish martyrology and a few personal factors, made me see happiness as indulgence.
Interestingly, the self-improvement narrative I ran into later kept reinforcing that. My perception of personal growth was, from the very beginning, that I should “grow from my discomfort.” In this light, it seemed like it was either happiness or growth that I was pursuing.
It wasn’t until I started exploring the ideas of Buddhist psychology that I saw happiness and growth as two intertwined concepts. Moreover, my own happiness started seeming more like a moral choice, rather than indulgence.
It is clear to me now that I am much more useful to the world when I am at peace with myself. This is how I understand morality: bringing as much value to the world as I can.
In Buddhism, this is termed as “wholesome” actions — i.e. the ones that contribute to reducing the amount of suffering in the world. And because it is the total amount of suffering that is in question, reducing your own share of it also helps.
In the words of a Buddhist abbot, Thanissaro Bhikkhu:
“The classic image illustrating this point is of…
