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Positive Reinforcement Is The Most Powerful Tool For Reshaping Your Mind
You need to teach this to yourself.
Positive reinforcement is not something I was taught as a child. Chances are, you weren’t either.
The primary way of how I was encouraged to “improve” was usually pointing out what was still missing. On the surface, it made sense. If you want to maximize your child’s outcomes, for example at school — why focus on what she already knows? Ambitious parents and teachers naturally pay attention to the areas where there is still room for improvement.
In my experience of being raised by a mother who wanted me to be the best, this manifested very clearly. When I scored an A- on a test, for example, I would be questioned about where the minus came from. At this point, it felt like the “A” before the minus (95% of the test that I completed flawlessly) wasn’t even relevant.
I am not coming to rant about my upbringing, though. I know my mom always wanted the best for me — just like so many parents and teachers do for the kids they are raising and educating. But there is a profound misunderstanding showing through the common demanding approach.
A misunderstanding about how human mind works.
