You should have done more this weekend. Gone for a hike. Taken that free MIT course you’ve been talking about. Holy shit, I spent $70 at that bar? How? Did you buy a round for everyone? You did. That’s right, you fucking did. You bought everyone tequila shots. And the girl you were trying to impress didn’t even take the shot. Tequila, really Michael? Are you still in college? You need to do laundry. How often should I be washing my towel? Why did I eat three chicken sandwiches at McDonalds last night? When am I going to get my life together?